Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone REWIND

[00:00:02] Oh, fühlt sich das nach Sommer an. Die neue Sommerwäsche von Chibo begeistert mit leuchtenden Farben und fröhlichen Trints. Feine Spitze, leichte Mikrofaser und sommerliche Schnitte sorgen für pures Wohlgefühl, selbst an heißen Tagen. Entdecke jetzt die neue Wäschekollektion von Chibo und finde deine Lieblingsstücke für den Sommer.

[00:00:34] We celebrated Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Dome with our dear friend Gwen Carroll during her second visit on the No More Late Fees podcast. Now, a few seasons later, we're rewinding the tape and stepping back into Hogwarts to revisit the episode that continued our magical journey together.

[00:01:07] I'm Danielle. And I'm Jackie. And we're just two best friends and ex-Blockbuster employees rewatching some of the best and worst movies from the late 90s and early 2000. This week, we're celebrating the 20th anniversary of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone with our special guest, Gwen Carroll. Welcome, Gwen! We're so glad you came back! 20th! I'm so happy to be back. Welcome back!

[00:01:34] I can't believe it's been 20 years since this movie. Oh, yeah. Makes a bitch feel old. Y'all. Real old. Y'all. Well, hey, I'm excited to be here. Yes! And we're stoked to have you here. And because we're Potterheads, we're extremely happy to do this movie as well.

[00:01:54] And if you like what we're doing, feel free to hop on your Nimbus 2000 and fly on over to Apple Podcasts to Wingardium Leviosa as a five-star review. It really, really, really helps us. We are pushing along. We are the little engine that could, trying to grow this podcast. And if you know a friend that you think might like it, share it, please. Or, you know, again, write a review. And for, I don't know.

[00:02:22] I'm not even going to say people who live under a rock because I have plenty of people I love and care about that are not Harry Potter fans but love this show. So they will be listening. And I want to tell you a little bit about Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Harry Potter is an orphan. Harry Potter is an orphan.

[00:03:10] Harry Potter is an orphan. He's a white man. We talked about it. We knew he had a cover-up somehow. It's not, not racist. It's not. I mean, you could have taken the turban and put a do-rag. That's how a good cultural appropriation that hole fell.

[00:03:36] Any who the movie stars Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert grant, Maggie Smith. Alan Rickman, Robbie Coltrane, and Richard Harris. Written by that lady and Steve Close. Directed by Christopher Columbus. And you can watch the movie on HBO Max and your DVDs and I don't know where else. iTunes. Everywhere. I was very proud of myself. First off for my

[00:04:01] description because I've been like really working hard on. You've been killing it. The movie descriptions. Yeah. But also I did not have to look up any of the people that starred in it because one, because this is, this is our religion. Let's not play. And I almost put Alan motherfucking Rickman in there, but I refrained. So I'm just saying it now. It would have been acceptable.

[00:04:28] A hundred percent. A hundred percent. But before we start, you know what we've got to do. We've got to get into our ratings rewind. So you know, the drill before we get into the movies, we'll reveal the rating our Y2K versions of ourselves would give. Then at the end, we'll see if our current selves agree with our initial rating. Our scale consists of would buy it, would buy it again. The best would plan repeat five day rental would watch again, two day rental.

[00:04:58] Okay. But nothing to write home about. Game day rental. Mommy, it's straight rubbish. I was perfect. Rubbish. To my cousins in London, I apologize.

[00:05:21] Your face. So Gwen, what is Y2Gway? Y2Gway? One of my friends calls me Gway. That's so funny. What does Y2KGwen think about Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone? Y2KGwen was very excited about the release of the Harry Potter films,

[00:05:49] even though she was at an age where she was trying to play it cool. So I would say, you know, she would, would buy it again, Sam. For sure. Jackie. Jackie. I don't know how to rank this, but I'm going to tell you a story. Okay. And it involves

[00:06:12] me sitting in the break room at Blockbuster and we had a TV with a VCR. And so we would watch movies on our break. Someone had already been watching Sorcerer's Stone. I did not see it in the theater. Someone had been watching it. And so I just pushed play, which was really rude of me because it's really hard to get back to like where you were at on a VHS. So that was kind of a dick move on my part. The first experience I ever had with Harry Potter was the Quidditch scene.

[00:06:42] And I was just like, what the fuck am I watching? It is gorgeous. Like the CGI at the time was great. Then I watched the whole rest of the story, a little confused, but really enjoyed it. But I don't think I bought it and I didn't rent it because I was already at the videos. I'll go five day rental because I did really, really enjoy it, but it was just a little, it's my little blockbuster story

[00:07:10] about how it brought Sorcerer's Stone and Harry Potter fandom into my life. Okay. I love that. So this is a safe space, right? Yes. Uh-oh. Okay. So I don't know, Jackie, if I've, I mean, I don't know, maybe I've talked about this. So I was in college when this came

[00:07:34] out. Shout out to my friend, Candace, huge Harry Potter fan. She had read the books and was like counting down for the movie to come out. So we went with her, a few of my friends and I went, fell asleep. It wasn't catching my attention. So Y2K, Danielle, a hundred percent really thought this was like a two day rental situation. I'm not going to say more about what happened when

[00:08:04] Chamber of Secrets came out. Cause I was having a hard time becoming a Potterhead. Let's just put it that way, but thank the heavens for Candace for not giving up on a bitch and requiring me to read the books. So the first book that I went to read was the third book. I started with Prisoner of Azkaban and then you didn't go back and read the entire series to like, I said, I started. Okay,

[00:08:32] bitch, don't come down my throat. I said, I started with the third book. I went back and read the first two, but the third book was definitely really good for me to jump in. And then I went back and, and read the first two books. I think also at the time it just felt, and it's weird. Cause I love fantasy. I love Chronicles of Narnia. I love the nerd shit. It's in my vein. So I don't know what it was that

[00:09:01] I could not get on board with the movies, but if I hadn't read the book, annoying as Hermione, wasn't it? No, it was. It was just all, I was just not with it. I was, I didn't know what the hell she was dragging me to, but I read the books and then I was like a crack fiend who found their drug. That's what the hundred percent will do it. So for me, it was a two day rental at the time. Fair.

[00:09:25] Give us the box office deets. Oh yes. I can tell you. All right, go ahead. Bring it to us. So domestically it made a 318,087,620 dollars. Jesus. And worldwide. 1 billion, 1 billion, 9 million.

[00:09:56] So not quite, just a little over a million, 1 billion. Sorry. Just a little over a billion dollars and their budget was $125 million. So safe to say success. Very successful. Very successful. I mean, and I think Warner, Warner brothers knew this like immediately when they bought the, because the books had already

[00:10:21] gone insane. I mean, when you went to see this movie, you had to stand in line to get the tickets for it. Just like when the books would come out and the midnight release, you were at borders, like a crazy person on a Barnes and Noble waiting in line for a children's book that this was something that completely swept the entire world. It's transcended children's genre. It was the highest

[00:10:43] grossing movie of 2001. Wow. And by February, 2002, this was the second highest grossing movie worldwide after Titanic, which is our episode too. If you want to go listen, I haven't actually listened to that one yet. So now we've got opinions. I need to listen to it. We'll talk about that. So in three months, it was the second highest grossing movie worldwide because it came out November 16th, 2001. And by

[00:11:13] February, 2002, that's crazy. Yeah. This movie was everywhere. I don't know how I missed it. I went to the movies all the time. Yeah. I had a friend who worked at the movies that gave me free tickets. So I would go to the movies like three or four times a week. And I worked a blockbuster. I was randomly in a VCR in the break room. My family. Oh, you did? We went together. Yeah. Oh,

[00:11:40] I love that. Cause I started, I know it's really like, yeah, we started reading. It was when the first books first came out. I would like read it with my mom. We read it together. Oh, the first book. Yeah. Jackie, I'm surprised you didn't watch this because like your family always went to the movies on Thanksgiving and Christmas. And this came out around Thanksgiving time. No, we went to the movies every Saturday. Yeah. Thanksgiving was just an addition to our regular

[00:12:06] Saturday family outing to the movies. I don't, like I said, I don't know how the fuck I missed it. Let's hear a word from our pod pals. Hello everyone. My name is Ben Groves. And my name is Rob McFarlane. And together we are the Every Movie Ever podcast. We've always found refuge in movies. We love them all from sci-fi, horror, to Oscar winning drama. And so bad they're good B movies. Each of us has had major

[00:12:32] mental struggles. I'm sober. I should be. Trauma, mental breakdowns. And to make sure that we checked in with our best mate at least once a week, we started the Every Movie Ever podcast. Join us as we survey the worst movies in the world and the cinematic gems that you may have missed. So whether you're a fan of Batman or billboards, Godzilla or God level writing, we've got episodes done and hundreds to come. Nick Frost says we can't do Every Movie Ever, but we'll show him some fried gold. Find us on Spotify or Apple Podcasts or anywhere else. Click the link.

[00:13:06] Well, before we dive in, we could talk a little bit about some of the casting. I mean, because obviously the casting of this movie was, they did such a good job. And especially with the kids, because you know, kids can go through that. It's like a, it's a crapshoot. You can, you're really playing it dangerously close because you don't know when they get to the teenage years, if they're

[00:13:30] really going to stay cute. And luckily they all were able to kind of do it. Neville. I mean, talk about it. They had to make him ugly. I was like, okay. Yeah. They definitely tried to keep them looking like real normal sort of, not glamorous kids. I

[00:13:57] think. Yeah. She made a request that we can just say the author. Yes. Yeah. I love that. She made a request. And if you are wondering why we don't speak her name, just type in her name and you'll probably come up with some things that she said. She was, she came up with this idea of the books and these, this whole universe and everyone liked. She was God status for a while there. Unfortunately,

[00:14:27] she went white bat shit, crazy lady on everybody and became pretty prejudiced and homophobic with some of her things. And she just cannot stop saying things. Yeah. So anyway, the author had made the request that only British actors be cast. She later extended that to Irish and British actors because it

[00:14:52] was shot in, in parts in Ireland. So Rosie O'Donnell and Robin Williams reached out because they wanted to play Molly Weasley and Hagrid respectively. Right. Could you have imagined? Rosie O'Donnell. Yeah. Yeah. Even weirder than, I mean, Robin Williams is more of a chameleon for sure, but yeah. Back in the day, Rosie O'Donnell, if you watch her show, she was real hardcore about talking about Harry Potter and

[00:15:17] she had adopted her kids around that time. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, obviously they did not get the roles because they are American. She wrote, or she didn't write Snape, but she handpicked Alan Rickman to play Snape and gave him the entire character arc before production on the first movie even started. And that way he knew how to play Snape throughout the movies. And I mean, like you can't go wrong with

[00:15:46] Alan Rickman and anything. No. Yep. And the kids like growing up on set with him, it wasn't until later in the later movies that, you know, they felt more comfortable with him, but they were terrified of him. Yeah. I'd probably be terrified of him too. And I'm a grown up. They said casting Harry Potter was the biggest challenge. They saw 5,000 boys audition. And from the jump, Chris Columbus is like, I saw this

[00:16:15] kid, Daniel Radcliffe and David Copperfield. He was amazing. He kept, Hey, but what about this kid? And people weren't really sold. Um, and it wasn't until the producer and screenwriter went to the theater and in the front row, Daniel and his father were there. And so they kind of persuaded because his parents were also like, we don't want to like get him involved in this huge undertaking.

[00:16:40] That's going to overtake his entire adolescence, but they were able to persuade his dad and he was cast as hair as Harry Potter. Well, Christopher Columbus was lucky. He even got the job because he was not, not the first choice, not the same. I don't even think he was the third, fourth, fifth choice. There were so many directors that were up for taking on this movie. Steven Spielberg, Jonathan Demme,

[00:17:07] Terry Gillum was the author's first choice. Tim Robbins, Ivan Reitman, Rob Reiner. Do I say, I think I messed up Reitman the last time. Did I say it right? You said it right. Even M. Night Shyamalan, that would have been interesting. So there was a lot of people up there, but the studio essentially ended up picking him. And I mean, he had some good credits to his name. He had done the Home Alone one and two series. And so when you're listening to the music,

[00:17:37] when you're watching the first two movies that he directed, you do get that kind of Home Alone Warm Fuzzy. Yeah. Yeah. And then apparently Rupert Grint sent a video of himself rapping while explaining why he wanted to play the part of Ron. Weird flex, but it worked. That is so funny. Gwen, can you relate?

[00:18:06] Yes. As someone who is a mediocre rapper and I tell her that's really cute. And that's really cute. Is that tape like available to see? I hope so. We need to look and see. If not, we'll just like, we should just recreate it and just say, this is what it would have been. You can recreate Rupert Grint's rap audition. That is so fucking funny.

[00:18:34] Not you. Not me. Not me. Not Hawaii. You. Drink every time we say that quote. And then if you know Richard Harris only, you know, he was Albus Dumbledore. He played him for both the first two movies until unfortunately he passed away from Hodgkin's lymphoma. He only

[00:18:59] agreed to take on the part after his 11 year old granddaughter threatened to never speak to him again. That's a flex. That is a flex. Patrick Guhan was originally offered the role, but he had turned it down due to his own health reasons. So yeah. So that's who we got. I, I don't know. Cause I, after watching the newer movies, I'm like, how old is fucking Albus supposed to be?

[00:19:29] Because the first Dumbledore, he looked like on Death's Door. The second one. That was a little more sprightly. Yes. Yes. Had a little more fire in his belly. He definitely did. Did you put your name in that? Got a little more of like a aggressive Santa Claus. For sure. This guy was like chill and didn't like being asked questions. Anyway, we'll get to that.

[00:19:58] The movie opens up first off immediately. Hedwig's theme composer, John Williams, like goosebumps every time. And we see Privet drive and it is Dumbledore is there. He has his diluminator, which looks like a Zippo lighter. And he sucks out the light of all the light lampposts on the street. Why? Right. It's like incognito.

[00:20:25] But the way that it's not incognito to like literally pull each light one by one. If you just happen to look outside, you'd be like, what the fuck's happening outside? Is everything burning out slowly one at a time? But I wonder if that I'm sure that happened in the book and I don't remember it because I haven't read the first book a long time, but I was like, oh, and then there is a cat and he's talking to the cat

[00:20:52] and it trans transforms into Professor McGonigal, Maggie Smith. She's a boss bitch all day, every day. I love her when I grow up. All I thought about when she came on screen is like, when this woman leaves this earth, I, I think I'm going to take a few sick days personally. Yeah. Yes. I think, I think many of us feel that way for sure. And then they're kind of hanging out and they're kind of having this side conversation about,

[00:21:21] we have to bring him to this place, blah, blah, blah. But you really don't know what they're talking about. And then she also is like, are you sure Hagrid was the man for the job? Yeah, I know. I love how much faith Dumbledore in the movies and the books has in Hagrid and just ride or die for him a hundred percent. Even though Hagrid fucking ruins everything. He makes a few errors.

[00:21:49] He's so, but he's so forgivable. He is. So Hagrid shows up in his little motorbike with the sidecar and pulls this baby out of it. So like I brought him, is he riding this magical motorcycle with a baby Bjorn tied to him? No, I think Harry's just chilling in the sidecar. No, he like, no, he has a, he has a song around him. Oh yeah. I guess he picks him up. I don't remember.

[00:22:18] No, he's like, he like opens up his jacket. Yeah. Cause I was watching that scene. Is he gonna, where the hell's the baby's gonna dig it out of the sidecar? Like where's the baby at? And he opens up and it's just like, okay. Oh yeah. I guess. Yeah. We talk about baby Bjorns way more than I thought we would on this podcast. That's so funny. This is a recurring thing.

[00:22:47] Yes. Hagrid with the baby Bjorn with Harry. He hands him off to Dumbledore. You see the lightning bolt scar as they leave him on the doorstep of the Dursleys. You can't wait for these people to come on with this abusive family. So my question of the Dursleys is obviously Harry is born not, but maybe weeks, months, not even a month, weeks apart from his cousin.

[00:23:16] Yeah. Oh, right. And so they have two newborn babies. Like, I wonder if they actually coddled him and loved him. What was it like? Cause they obviously had to take care of him. Yeah. They didn't put him in the, under the stairs immediately. No. Yeah. Like when did that start? That's a really interesting thing there. We need, that's what I was thinking about. Yeah. And I'm

[00:23:38] surprised did Dumbledore go and talk to them ahead of time. Cause I think we find out about this later in the books that he like goes when everything happens and says like, you know, you need to take him, but why y'all ain't knocking on the door, leaving a baby just out? Or why aren't they like waiting on the doorstep, like waiting to receive this child? Dumbledore was just at your house.

[00:24:05] Talking to you about it. Baby on the doorstep is such a trope and it's like, stop doing that. Nobody's doing that. No. Well, maybe people are, but I've in movies. We just have never received a baby on the doorstep. I sure haven't. I sure haven't. And I don't want one. I'm not on the doorstep. I will take a puppy or a kitten any day. Yeah. So we see his little lightning bolt star scar.

[00:24:34] And that was a choice that the author requested to not have it in the middle. Cause on all of the illustrations on the book covers, they had it in the middle, but she's like, I've never really said where it was. So why don't you put it off to the side or something? Change it up. Yeah. And so then we get the title scene and it's really interesting. If you go, you can look it up online. The Warner

[00:25:02] brothers title scene, it starts out like sunny Warner brothers in sorcerer stone and it gets progressively darker and deteriorated as the movies go on and get darker. I have noticed that super cool. They love that. Yeah. So Harry's waking up, there's lots of banging and it's like, get up Potter. He's so, he's so good in this. The kid is Dudley. It's probably the best actor of the kids.

[00:25:32] Yeah. Well, there's a few, but it's not the main characters. It's all the stuff. There's like Dudley and I forget who else, but he's so good in this. He's so funny. He is. And what I did not notice until this watching is Aunt Petunia unlocks the door. They literally lock him under the stairs at night. Which I think is speaks to their fear because they do know that he's magical and they

[00:25:59] don't quite know what to do with that. So obviously she has her own bias. We learn later in the books, what, how she feels about really feels about the magical stuff. But I think that they're also scared for him being able to get out because they know his powers and he can't always control if he does something. And in a weird slight way, I think it's also because they don't want anybody to be able to,

[00:26:26] for him to get out and be hurt. And they're very complex. It's very confusing. And like, if they were really scared of him, why wouldn't you just be, wouldn't that be cause to be nicer to him? Right. Like, I don't know what this is. Well, maybe, maybe not when you're scared and you want power over somebody, but you know that they have like innate powers. The best thing to do

[00:26:54] is to brainwash them into believing that they are less than and, and oppress them. Yeah. And I guess they're not like the smartest people. No, they're insecure people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It comes out in bad ways. One thing. Oh, go ahead. One thing that I, I think I've kind of overlooked over the years, cause you know, you know, that they will not buy

[00:27:18] anything for Harry. Harry is not getting anything just for Harry. So when you look at his clothes and you, I finally realized like his clothes are completely oversized. They're big for him. Yeah. Very big. He's wearing belts. And that is because he is not getting his own clothes. They are literally giving whatever Dudley does not want or grows out of or whatever. And he has to make it

[00:27:39] work as Tim says. So they get Harry up. We find out it's Dudley's birthday. Happy birthday, Dudley. And they're going to the zoo, but first Harry has to make like a continental breakfast for everyone. Yeah. It's modern day slavery up in this bitch. It's crazy. I'm like, you have, I mean, it also,

[00:28:06] I have a hard time seeing him as 11. Like so little. I'm like, that child is eight years old. He looks so little tiny. Yeah. So they're going to the zoo. Dudley throws a fucking hissy fit because he only got 36 presents this year. And last year he got 37. So when we're at the zoo, we're going to buy you two more presents. I'm like, you are creating this fucking monster. Yeah. They've a hundred

[00:28:34] it was like very Willy Wonka to me. I'm like, this is so much like that. I want it now. I want it now. Yeah. We'll get you two more, sweetie. And then uncle Vernon tells Harry, pretty much you're lucky we're bringing you because miss fig next door can watch your ass and no funny business. Funny business. Okay.

[00:28:59] So that tells us that like Harry has been probably there have been small magical incidents that he doesn't even understand. If I grew up in that environment, I would hands down be a Slytherin. I don't know how he turned out so sweet and nice main characters.

[00:29:23] Yeah. Because, and then if you talk about like the parallels of him and Voldemort, because Voldemort too ends up being an orphan. He lives in the orphanage and he gets bullied and he's put under a lot of the same pressures that Harry is experiencing. And it's interesting to see that they do take very

[00:29:45] different routes. Yeah. So now we're at the zoo, we're at the snake exhibit and Dudley's an asshole banging on the glass. And that snake is like miserable because it's in a fucking glass enclosure at a zoo. And now you're making its life worse. And so he's like, it's not moving. This is boring. Blah, blah, blah. I'm an asshole. And so he wanders away and Harry apologizes to this snake.

[00:30:13] Sorry, Mr. Snake. Nobody understands us. And it's like, yes. I love that snake. But I was like, and then the snake knows how to read English. Cause he's like, look at that sign that says yeah. Yeah. It's a snake.

[00:30:34] And so this, uh, so Harry gets triggered because Dudley's acting like a fucking dick and unbeknownst to Harry, he makes the glass disappear. Dudley falls right flat in his face into the water with the snake. And you know what? Props to the snake. He doesn't try to mangle the child. He just like,

[00:30:56] he just wants it out. He's like, peace. Thanks for me. I'm out. Thanks. He does. All of a sudden he has a voice. Thanks. And it sounds like Alan Rickman's voice. Yes. And then we're back at Privet drive now. Yeah. They're pissed at Harry because obviously it was his fault because Dudley actually got closed back into the, like his magic went away. So he's stuck in the glass. Oh God. Yeah.

[00:31:25] It's a hot mess. It's a hot mess. So. Mails dropped off and there's a letter for Harry and Uncle Vernon's like, not on my fucking watch. So like that scene, why the fuck did Harry should know these people by now? I know he's 11. I would have dropped off the mail, hid that shit in my pants and got in my little room and opened it. Yeah. But he brings it out looking like, Oh, I got mail too. Y'all.

[00:31:54] Come on, Harry. I'm sorry. It just, I'm with you on that. The lengths they go to with these letters. Yeah. Oh my gosh. They nail. Relax. Just let them fucking have it. Yeah. They screw the mail slot shut. Then the owls just start dropping them down the fucking fireplace. And so now like the entire, and they're kind of enchanted. So they're like flittering all over just like Danielle's background.

[00:32:23] Yeah. They're all the chimney and they're still trying to keep them away from it. Like just give up already. And then like when I was reading online, they're like, he's trying to jump and grab one from the air. He's literally standing on a mountain. Just like bend down, pick one up and read it. I wonder if the justification for that was maybe like that he, they, if he becomes a wizard, he'll become powerful and then he'll hurt them. Maybe that's the thought now that I'm thinking

[00:32:49] about a little harder. Yeah. Oh, it's still a stretch. Like everybody just give him the letter. I also think deep down his aunt actually did care and love him and didn't know how to display it. And I think she was actually, um, scared for him to go into that world. Yeah. Cause look what happened to her sister. Yeah. I think it's a deleted scene in the last movie. Yeah. Dudley. Yeah. But there's

[00:33:13] one with Dudley and there's one with the aunt that she kind of gives insight as to that she actually gave a shit about him, but in the books they do go into a little bit more too. Yeah. So uncle Vernon solution to Harry, not receiving a letter is to go in the middle of the ocean on a

[00:33:37] rock. Like dangerous conditions. How did they even get there? They drive it's an Island. Did they fly? How did they get there? It's just funny, I guess. I guess that's just kind of like it's quirky. And it's like a roiling, roiling ocean around it. Like these are not seafaring conditions.

[00:34:02] No one should be going out to that fucking shack. And so they show Dudley's asleep on the couch and well, also it's weird because when Dudley's on the couch, then Harry's on the floor. Cause obviously he's not good enough to sleep on anything. Um, and there's like sand dust on the floor.

[00:34:28] Cause he's making his own drawing of his own happy birthday cake, which it is like, I just want to cry. It's so sad. And then he like blows out his candles and he blows the dust away. And I'm just like, this is one of the most prolific scenes in any like movie I've ever seen where he like, he's so like emotionally a bit abused and repressed that he's just like, he has to live

[00:34:57] in his own little pretend world and just be with himself. I'm like, I, I was hoping it was sand because I had to get out of my head. Cause if it was dust, then I was like that the lungs. And what if he had asthma, I just having a problem. So then there's a knock at the door and by a knock. Yeah. I was going to say, is it a knock or is it just a bust down? A door just kind of falls.

[00:35:27] Yeah. And then Hagrid's like, Oh, sorry about that. Always apologizing for Hagrid. Always apologizing. Uncle Vernon has a shotgun. I'm confused about this because I know in England, firearms are very, very heavily regulated. I think if you're hunting though, it's different. And that looked like something that they use for hunting. Yeah. I don't know. I was, I was a little confused.

[00:35:57] I was just surprised. A little much. Yeah. I was surprised they had a gun in a child. It's also a children's movie. So I was just like, 2001, I guess. Yeah. And I mean, he gave off Elmer Fudd vibes. That's exactly what I was thinking. Nuggling his little shotgun to him.

[00:36:20] Yeah. So Hagrid turns like, he's so strong. He can bend the metal up and destroy his shotgun. And then he tells like, uncle Vernon is protesting. And Hagrid looks at him and he goes, Oh, dry up Dursley, you old prune. And there's a few lines like this. We're like, wow. Wow.

[00:36:46] Yeah. Is it a little tiny umbrella he has? Like, what is that? That he's his wand. Oh yeah. He likes the fireplaces. Hidden in the umbrella because he's not supposed to be practicing magic. There's like the tiniest net who has decided to go to war with me. Oh no. Sorry. If you see me go like this, that's why. I just thought you were fighting with uncle Vernon. He could catch these hands.

[00:37:15] And Hagrid mistakes Dudley for Harry. He's like, Oh, you're a little poorly. You filled out a lot more and faster than I expected. And Hagrid has a sweet little cake. That's like, Oh, that's a cute cake. Yeah. Happy birthday, Harry. And then there's more conversation because Hagrid's like, essentially I'm here to take Harry to Hogwarts.

[00:37:43] Like he's been accepted to the wizarding school. Since he was born, he had a place. That's what he said. Since he was born. Harry says, you're a wizard, Harry. Yes. And I was like, he said it. And I love how Harry, like he protests a little bit, but he's not, he doesn't question much. Like, if you think about it, Harry is on board from jump. He does not question none of this.

[00:38:12] He's like, I'd rather go with this mountain of a man who looks like he hasn't bathed in three months than stick with y'all one second longer.

[00:38:51] Yep. And he's like, I'm going to take this wand and gives Dudley a little pigtail. And of course his parents, pandemonium crazy. Yeah. And then they're like, I'm out. Dip. Let's go, Harry. This is when, yes. So Hagrid tells Harry he's a wizard. And then it's like this whole argument with the Dursleys because they had told Harry his parents died in a car crash. And Hagrid is very offended by that. He's like, a car crash.

[00:39:22] The greatest wizards who's ever lived. How dare ye. Or whatever. So Harry's starting to kind of learn like his aunt and uncle. Yeah. Have been keeping information from him. And then Hagrid also kind of is like, have you had things ever happened that you made happen and you didn't know how and things like that? It's because you have magic. And so Harry's like, okay, let's go get on this fucking boat.

[00:39:50] That's very exciting. I think also a good thing, if you've never seen the movie and you want to watch it, just keep in mind that this movie, really the whole basis of it is world building. You're getting a good introduction. As a viewer of the movie, you are in Harry's shoes. You are learning as Harry is learning about this entire complete universe and world.

[00:40:19] And he asks out loud the questions that you're like, what the fuck is happening? He's asking along, which I think is smart, obviously. Yeah, I love that. So now we are approaching Diagon Alley. We swing into the Leaky Cauldron. So they walk in. Obviously, Hagrid is a regular. And Professor Quirrell, we are introduced to him. He is the dude in the turban.

[00:40:45] And so he's one of the professors. He's the professor of dark arts at Hogwarts. And as Harry comes in, Hagrid does introduce him to the entire pub as Harry Potter. And as soon as he's silence and then, oh, my God, everyone's like kind of tripping over themselves to get a look at Harry, talk to Harry, meet Harry. Which, you know, for him not having any attention and all of a sudden he's famous.

[00:41:12] It's like I just came out from my little cubby under the stairs. I don't know what the fuck's going on. After meeting Professor Quirrell at the Leaky Cauldron, we do tap, tap, tap on a brick wall. And all the bricks do flippies. And then we enter Diagon Alley. Oh, yeah. Goblins. Right? I wrote down goblins are dope. Yes. Because they are. I love that set.

[00:41:39] We enter Diagon Alley and Hagrid's like, I have to run one quick errand and then we'll go school shopping for you. Plus, we need money. And so we go to Gringotts Bank, run by the goblins. And in this movie, the goblin is played by Verne Troyer. Griphook is played by Verne Troyer, but voiced by Warwick Davis. Who plays Flitwick. And who plays Flitwick? Professor. Correct.

[00:42:09] Yes. And so we see, we stop by Harry's vault because Harry has a fucking vault. He's rich. He's rich. Yeah. He's rich, bitch. He does ask like, you know, hey, quick question. I have all because he's reading his, he finally gets to read his acceptance letter, whatever. And it tells him all the things that his school supply list. And he's like, bitch, I ain't got no money. So what's happening? And Hagrid's like, you ain't got no money.

[00:42:36] Your parents would roll out like that. Like, it's like, Hagrid does not have a sit down conversation and say like, this is what's happening. Your parents died, unfortunately. Voldemort. Nothing. And they left you X, Y, and Z. He's just rolling as if Harry should know this shit. And I'm just like, so frustrated with Hagrid during these scenes. It's really frustrating. I know. Yeah.

[00:43:00] We stop, we get some galleons and nuts, and then we move along and Hagrid's like, I have to go to this other vault because Dumbledore sent me on a very specific mission that I'm not allowed to say anything about. And we should probably not even talk about the fact that I brought you here. When we talk about somebody loose lips sink ships, it should be Hagrid.

[00:43:26] The amount of things he says throughout this entire series of movies. The whole plot furthers it. Yes. Because he lets shit slip. He says not enough at the beginning and then tells you everything to the end. Oh, he's so chaotic. Oh, also, did you know, really quickly, I know, did you know that Hagrid is a robot? Did you know that all of the shots of Hagrid that were not on his face, of him walking,

[00:43:54] a lot of it was, they had an animatronic robot that was controlled by somebody? That makes sense because they had to make him so tall, right? Make him so big. Yeah. He was a fucking robot for like half the movie. How good was that? I didn't realize that. I learned that Ron found that out today. Good old Ron coming in touch. I know. So we talked about Hagrid as a robot? Veränderter Ausfluss? Unangenehmer Intimgeruch? Oft Hinweis einer bakteriellen Scheideninfektion.

[00:44:24] Kadeflora Milchsäurekur hilft den natürlichen pH-Wert zu stabilisieren und bakteriellen Scheideninfektionen vorzubeugen. Sogar bei wiederkehrenden Harnwegsinfekten. Als Vaginalgel im gebrauchsfertigen Applikator. Oder ganz neu, auch als Vaginalzäpfchen. Jetzt ausprobieren. Kadeflora Milchsäurekur und Milchsäureovula. Gibt's rezeptfrei in der Apotheke.

[00:45:11] I'd be so scared after this interaction because the wand guy, Ollivander, right? Yeah. He like gets really close to his face and he's like, Do you know that the only person who's had the phoenix work is... And I was like, this is so scary for me. Yes. I don't know how Harry would feel. He's so brave. He is very brave in right or die. So you find out in one day that you're like, it's probably a span of 24 hours. You're a wizard. Your parents were murdered. Murdered trying to save you. Yeah.

[00:45:41] And there's this man out in these streets who murdered your parents. And also now you share a twin wand with this man and everyone's scared of him and saying, thou who should not be named or whatever. And you're like, Baltimore, bitch. Like, you know, he gives no fucks. I feel like a little chest hair sprung out at 11 years old. Because he was like, I don't care. It's insane.

[00:46:10] And so, yes, he, his wand chooses him. It has a phoenix core, which the phoenix fox, Dumbledore's phoenix only gave one other feather. And that was twin core to Tom Riddle's wand. We find out later. And now, at this point, he's got his wand. And Hagrid pulls up with his wonderful owl, Hedwig. Yay, Hedwig. Yes. As a special present. And it's just such a sweet scene.

[00:46:39] It really is. Because Hagrid really does care about Harry. I mean, he was the one that essentially saved him and protected him and got him to- Got him out. The Dursleys. Yeah. Now we're at the- Harry's got all his stuff. Now he's headed to the train station. And this- This part- Harry's like, nine and three quarters, peace. And I'm like, come on. You know this kid has never seen this. You know there's this whole process. And Harry's like, what the fuck?

[00:47:07] And he goes to talk to a conductor guy or somebody at the train station. Like, where's nine and three quarters? And he's like, what the fuck are you talking about? There's nine and there's ten. That's him. You know? Thanks for nothing, Hagrid. Right? He's the most complicated. So he's the most up and down character. Yeah. All over the place. All over the place. Anyway. Follow your future in-laws through the wall. Right. And so he finds- He sees a family kind of going through the process. So he's able to ask.

[00:47:35] And I just said, could you imagine 11 years old, you run into your mother-in-law, your BFF, and your wife in one swoop? Yep. Like, I'm trying to find the train. Oh, spoiler alert if you don't fucking know. I said, follow your future in-laws through the wall. The things I wrote down in a row. Follow your in-laws through the wall. Thanks for nothing, Hagrid. Hi, Ronald. I love you.

[00:48:07] Anyway. Great notes, Gwen. As usual. Great notes. Thank you so much. Thank you. When Harry comes out of the wand shop, he's like, that dude just told me a crazy fucking story. And Hagrid is like, oh, well, this is what happened to your parents. Some wizards go bad. And unfortunately, your family was killed. So it's a flashback. And he's like, and that's how you got that scar. Yeah. Yeah. Like, real creepy, like.

[00:48:36] And then we see, and then we're at nine and three quarters. And Harry just looking fucking confused. And then he sees the Weasleys literally running through a wall. And so he's like, oh, first, the oldest brother. And so he's like, oh, then my people, let me go over and introduce myself. Yeah. And so now they're on the Hogwarts Express. Him and Ron are in a little room together.

[00:49:06] And Ron lucked the fuck out. Okay. Buying the whole cart of snacks. Right? That is every kid's dream. Especially for Ron, who's family. Who is like, I have this mashed up peanut butter sandwich. His family is rich in love. I'm all set. Rich in love and history for their family as Weasleys. But poor in money. Because there's a shit ton of them. Yes. Yeah. Harry buys all the snacks.

[00:49:35] They're playing with Scabbers. The Rat comes back to play later in book three. I just for that, when I thought about it, think about psychologically how Scabbers kind of fucked up Ron's education in a sense and his confidence. Because so many, you know, you obviously have the animals to help you with some of your witchcraft and stuff like that and learning.

[00:50:01] And a lot of his magic wasn't working because of that fucking rat. And he probably internalized and thought it was because of him and that he was a bad wizard. Think about that. I never thought about that until I rewatched it. I didn't think about that either. Yes. So Neville loses his frog Trevor. Weird name for a frog. Or his toad Trevor. So Hermione is helping.

[00:50:27] And so he's like, she comes by and she's like, hey dudes, have you seen? It's not. It's not. Hey dudes. It's like, I'm Hermione. Yes. I'm a perfectly lovable little cunt. I love that. So. Just like so. Actually. It's actually. Yeah. And also terrible. She is very condescending.

[00:50:53] And Ron's like, oh, my brothers who like to fucking joke around taught me this, this spell. And so he's doing like this, like. It's a rhyming spell. Yeah. And so Hermione is like, oh, performing a spell. Go ahead. Let's watch this. This is what a bitch. Such an asshole. Yeah. But I think Hermione's behavior is definitely explained because. Yes. She is muggle born, which means that. There's a lot to prove. Yeah.

[00:51:22] You have two parents, non-magical parents, and you happen to turn out to be magical, which means somewhere down the line, you probably had magical ancestors and you just, you know, genetic. And so I think she just feels insecure because if you. It's funny how both her and Harry come from the muggle world, essentially, and their different approaches to approach to coming into the magical world. Hermione says, I'm going to fucking absorb every single thing.

[00:51:52] I'm going to learn more than everybody else so that nobody can say me, tell me I'm not good enough. Essentially. It totally makes sense. And Harry's more dude-ish. I can say it's definitely male energy that I'm going to absolutely just going to try this out and see what happens. Roll the dice. If you say. Yeah. I'm just going to sit back and everything will work out just fine. Yeah. Because I'm a dude. Which I mean. Yeah. There's a little bit of it.

[00:52:19] Can speak to also how women approach situations in comparison to men. First years have to take boats. And so they're all rowing to the castle. Is it just the first year? Because I was wondering about that. I was like, why do they take boats this time? And then I don't again, it's just a first year thing. The first years take the boat. That's what it is. Okay. The rest of the time it's carriages pulled by. There's all these different modes of transportation. There's so many.

[00:52:49] There's a bus. There's okay. Yeah. Because I was thinking about it, like how do adults or anybody else get there? Is the train the only way? And if you go to Hogwarts, are you only coming from like the UK and Ireland or. I'm guessing other Europeans aren't allowed because you have to get on the train at in London. So I started thinking about it. I don't know, Danielle. It's magic. I'm sorry. I just started thinking about it.

[00:53:18] Well, because there's other wizarding schools. Like there's. All those other boring, boring places. And there's one in the US, which we find out in Fantastic Beasts. Oh, God. The term nomad really grinds my gears. Yeah. I don't like. I don't like that. It's an N word. Yeah. Just saying. Don't like it. Oh, don't roll with it. Oh, I don't like that. Oh, I didn't think about that. That makes it even worse.

[00:53:46] I was like, no, no badge. The fuck? I was not happy when I saw that. It's really icky. That might make sense. I'm like, why is this making me so feel so? Why couldn't we just call it fucking muggle? Like why are we? Why can't it be consistent? Yeah. She was like, oh, people say different things because the author is a problem. A hundred percent. So now we're sitting at in the great hall. It's all the first years. They have not been sorted yet.

[00:54:16] And so they're all just kind of co-mingling and Malfoy rolls up. Yeah. They're outside. Malfoy. Draco Malfoy. Which is a total homage to James Bond. He introduces himself just like James Bond does. Oh, he does. And if you think about it, this very scene, you know, we all have these thoughts about Malfoy and how he's just like kind of a dick.

[00:54:44] But the vibes him and Harry give off throughout this whole series is lovers, enemies, friends kind of thing, right? Yeah. Yeah. Because he rolls up and he's not really rude to Harry at first. He's like, I'm the best thing you've ever seen. I'm gonna rock your world. You want to roll with me? This is the crew. And what's good? Handshake.

[00:55:15] But the problem is Ron. Now, if you think about it, Ron starts shit by laughing at this ridiculousness. And that's when he targets Ron. He does not say anything about Ron. He does not say anything. He's just like, what's up? I'm your new homeboy. Nothing. And when Ron laughs, that's when he's like, I don't even have to ask your name. I already know. Red hair. Hand me down robes.

[00:55:43] Must be a way to say. And that's what turns Harry off. I think Harry would have been like, what's up? Nice to meet you. But the fact that he goes in on his day one, problems. Yep. Problems. And so when Malfoy gets rejected from his new boyfriend, he gets real upset. And a feud it must be. Now we see Dumbledore is doing his welcome speech.

[00:56:13] He says, by the way, third floor corridor, off limits. Don't go there. Yeah. Here's what you do. Tell kids where not to go, what not to do. And be sure that they will figure out how to go there. Especially those. Magical forest. They still get to go though, which is dumb. Yeah. Just those three kids. Everybody else. Like if you, I wish they would make like a show or a movie that's like satire about the rest of the fucking kids at Hogwarts. Oh man. Yeah.

[00:56:42] That just happened to be there during the shit show that is the years of Harry Potter. Like, I'm just trying to have a good time. Yeah. Right. And this fucking kid, man. We all have to be evacuated to our common rooms again because of fucking Harry. Oh. So Gryffindor wins again. Surprise. Oh, I've got an issue with that too. Yeah. The point system is so rigged anyway.

[00:57:12] And now we are at the sorting hat. Ron Gryffindor, Hermione Gryffindor, Draco Malfoy, Slytherin. Harry's sitting there. The hat's talking to him and he's like, you'd be good in Slytherin. And Harry's like, not Slytherin, not Slytherin. And I wonder, here's the other thing. Harry would not really have any problems with Slytherin until right before he goes into the

[00:57:41] great hall to get sorted that Ron says that all the bad people have been Slytherin. If he had not known and just sat there and got put in Slytherin, he would have been like, okay. Because he had no idea. Like, what if he had got put in Slytherin? I'm sure there's fan fiction of this. Harry Potter actually gets put in Slytherin. I noticed here that Hermione's hair is too much like Hagrid's. They like, yeah. Teased it and crimped it a little bit and made it very big.

[00:58:10] They were trying a lot of different things to figure out what to do with that hair. To make it, to make her look like, because in the books, they do very much give you some insight into how that situation is.

[00:58:27] I don't remember that. It's like a weird, what are they doing? Yeah. Anyway.

[00:58:55] So we are introduced to Nearly Headless Nick, which is unfortunate because he does not show up in any of the other movies and he is a fantastic fucking character. Yeah. And it's John Cleese. He doesn't show up in any of the other movies? No. Like a lot of people are really mad about one. Yeah. That's interesting. In the movies, we don't really get a whole thing about the ghosts. No.

[00:59:18] The house elves and the behind the scenes with Spew and all that stuff. Like so much stuff is taken out. So now we get up to our dorms. We see the common room. Harry's very excited. I mean, he has a fucking bed in a room. The next day we're in transfiguration class with Professor McGonagall. They walk in. They're like, oh good. We're late. But Professor McGonagall's not here yet. That bitch was a cat.

[00:59:44] She like hops off her desk, transforms as like Weasley. And he's like, oh. I just don't understand why. It seems like all of them kind of moved together, the whole group of the first years in Gryffindor. So I don't understand why those two idiots were by themselves and not with the group. But I mean, if you think back a long, long time ago when we were in like middle and high school,

[01:00:10] like even especially middle school, we moved as a group because we were like in those pods. Yeah. And like there were still kids late, like, oh, I had to use bathroom or whatever. You know, like there are just those kids. That's fair. Yeah, it's true. But I like how Hermione sees them walk in and she just like is so done with them. Shakes her head. And she has a lot of eye rolls in this very first movie.

[01:00:37] A lot of eye rolls and a lot of like scoffing. It's kind of off the charts. Yeah. Lots of sass. The next scene we are in potions. Snape is just like hammering fucking Harry. Oh, yeah. I didn't even write anything down about this. I just went straight to Quidditch for some reason. But but yeah, he's like he's like, let me quiz you on things. I know that you know that he doesn't know that. Yeah, he's wrong with you, bro.

[01:01:05] I think this series, this movie definitely really puts on display where a lot of movies don't touch on this, which I think we should talk more about how adult there are adults in this world who bully children and they get off on making children feel small or their own insecurities and issues. Yeah. Which is sad. Yeah, it's sad. So Snape asks him if you.

[01:01:36] He says, if you did combine powdered root of. Asphodel and an infusion of wormwood, you would brew a sleeping potion so powerful is known as the drought of living death. So according to Victorian flower language, asphodel is a type of lily, meaning my my regrets follow you to the grave and wormwood means absence and also typically symbolizes bitter sorrow.

[01:02:01] So if you combine that and then I bitterly regret Lily's death. Why does this man not just fully I don't know if he makes it pretty deep even for the authors. Yeah, that way. But I don't know. Yeah. I mean, it's definitely. I mean, I feel like a lot of things that she does. There was always meaning behind it. Yeah, there was a lot of it. You're right. There are these back and forth scenes that I never really noticed because in this movie,

[01:02:31] they definitely make Snape out to be the red herring. And I laugh so much because I thought of something when watching them later on, they naturally assume that Snape is Harry Potter had on Snape almost like Fred and Scooby Doo with the red herring character. Like no matter what happens, what evidence is put in front of him, it's that is always the conclusion. Yes.

[01:03:00] And that's how Harry is for quite a while. And he's confirmation bias. Yeah. Actually, 100%. But with him, I just never understood why he couldn't just be a decent human being and just say like and be nice to Harry. I think it was he saw James Potter, which James Potter was an asshole to him. And he had every right to like hate James Potter.

[01:03:26] But I think it was like Harry was the spitting image of James Potter with Lily's eyes and Snape just could not like disconnect from that feeling of I let Lily down. I wasn't with her to begin with, but I also let her down because she's dead. And now I have to look at this kid that was like, that is the spitting image of my arch nemesis, but he still has the woman I love's eyes.

[01:03:53] And it's painful all around. It's painful all around. Yeah. Yeah. I think also he kept a distance. Like he purposely kept a distance from Harry because he didn't want to show his emotions, but it was just such a up and down. I just can't. It's just like it drives me crazy. And he does. I love how he like all the teachers who are head of a house, how they're like, there's no favoritism.

[01:04:22] But, you know, Snape was like a Slytherin all day and McGonagall. Come on. You're not fooling anybody with your favoritism towards Hogwarts, not Hogwarts, Gryffindor and Harry himself. So now the kids are studying and apparently the director had them work on their actual homework during the studying scenes to make it realistic because they were actually studying.

[01:04:52] So I thought that was a fascinating tidbit. I feel he got him to do their homework. Very smart. I feel like being on this set all those years, that was kind of like their elementary, middle school and high school years together. But it was great that this cat, this set had so many kids. You know, I could imagine it's pretty lonely as a child actor if you were doing a series like this, but it's all adults.

[01:05:20] But at least they all had that collective experience. And I love that they're all so close still and that there wasn't like all this drama afterwards. And also during the scene, it's owl mail time. And so Neville gets a remember all because he never remembers shit. It was actually pointed out that he's not even wearing his robes in most of the movies. He didn't remember to pack his robes. Oh, that's funny.

[01:05:48] Which is probably why his grandma sent him the remember all. And then someone gets the quibbler or something and they start reading about what Ron gets it. Yeah. It was probably the daily profit too. Oh yeah. And Harry's like, can I read that please? Can I borrow that? Yeah. I'm so interested in the news. And someone broke into Gringotts, but what they broke into steel was not there. And they name the vault number.

[01:06:17] Which is weird. Yeah. They would never do that. You're right. Yeah. Yeah. And Hermione's like, hello. Like if you see her on the other side of the table, because he's telling Ron and she is all up in the business. All up in it. And Harry's like, that's funny. Hagrid just took shit out of it a couple of days ago. And so.

[01:06:43] And now it's flying lessons with Madame Hooch, who also only appears in this movie. I know. She was so great too. Wanted too much money to come back. And they're like, awesome. We're, we're. I never, I never even noticed that bitch never came back. Yeah. No, Madame Hooch is only in the first. Madame Cooch. They really just say, really get close to a lot of things. Right? There's Cooch. There's the beaters. There's.

[01:07:15] A wood. The snitch. Can I talk about wood? Cause. Oh yeah. Wood. Oliver Wood. It's very sexual. You can get it in the hole. Yep. Whole goal. So we are having flying lessons. Neville's broom. He can't handle it and ends up fracturing his wrist. And so Madame Hooch is like, can we talk about that? Madame Cooch could catch.

[01:07:42] Like she, there was so many opportunities for her to stop that incident from happening. And she was like standing there, like filing her nails or something. Like she. Like, like they know that that can happen on a broom. Yeah. They just kind of like let them have at it anyway. I'm like, I'm going to leave for a minute while you guys still have these brooms in your hands. Yeah. It's so irresponsible. But I guess, you know, when you have magical healing or whatever. Yeah.

[01:08:10] And so she has to take Neville to the infirmary and Malfoy's just now being a dick. And he's like, oh, Neville's remember all. I'm going to hide it someplace. He'll never find it because he can't fucking fly. And so he like takes off with it. And Harry's like, bitch, that's Neville's. Give it back. And so now Harry's chasing Malfoy. He was just going to take it. And it wasn't until Harry was like, give it back, Malfoy. Like so extra. He's like, give it back.

[01:08:40] It's not yours. Like, why are you so gangster? Why is he setting on gangster at Hogwarts? Because we got to know that he's going to be a seeker. I remember your ass in the closet under the stairs. Now we can't. But McGonagall is standing and watching. I love this so much. She's like, come with me. Like he's in fucking trouble. Like he's in trouble. And then she's like, you're going to play good age.

[01:09:08] I have found us a seeker. Wood. Wood. Who? I don't think we ever see him again either. Do we? We see him in the second movie, I think. Because I thought, you know, Y2K Danielle was like boring shit here. But I liked his accent and thought he was a little cutie. So I did look out for him in the second movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they are also like in front of a trophy case.

[01:09:37] And so Ron's like, look, Harry, your dad's name. He was a seeker too. It wasn't Hermione. Oh, it was Hermione. He goes, well, it's in your blood. Yeah. Look, stupid. And Ron's like, you know, Harry, why didn't you tell me? It's like, bitch, I didn't fucking know. I didn't know I was a fucking wizard until two days ago. Right. Now they're chatting as they're in this room where just all the staircases move all the time.

[01:10:06] So fucking confusing. Like, how do you ever know? Is it like double dutch where you have to like get on at the right time? I don't even know staircases. Is there a pattern to it? Like what is happening? Well, I don't know. Maybe, maybe there's like Hogwarts is alive. It is. There is. Somehow the stairs lead them to the third floor corridor that is off limits. Thanks, staircases.

[01:10:35] And of course, and they're like this door, it's locked. And Hermione's like, watch this bitches. Yeah. She doesn't even say it. She's like, move. Well, let's talk about who's the real threat to Hogwarts. It's right. She could destroy the whole place. You know she can't. She's breaking into doors that like you have no business. You have been told not to go into. She's like, move, move, move. Watch, watch, watch. We see a cerevis, which is a three-headed dog. Puppy.

[01:11:05] Pup. He's proper. I just wrote down poor puppies are under-exercised. Yeah. Trying to bite people. I'm like, you just got to get them out a little bit and they'll probably be fine. And they're like, oh my God, a three-headed dog. And they like slam the door shut. And they're like, what the fuck? And Hermione's like, did you see what it was standing on? No, bitch. No, I saw a dog with three fucking heads.

[01:11:33] She is the smartest little witch. Is this the part where she says we could be killed or worse, expelled? Yes. One of the cutest lines of all time. I think it's there or it's the scene right after it. Yeah. She was like, let's get back to like our rooms or whatever before you guys get me, you know, get us killed or expelled. Yeah. You're the one that opened the door. Right.

[01:11:59] Like all they had to do was just wait for the stairs, stay on the staircase and wait till it went to another place. Like why y'all get off at this? It's not your stop. Yeah. It's the next stop. You live in London. You should know like the subway system. I'm sure it's like similar practice. And then the next scene is just an overview of Quidditch. You have bludgers and beaters and seekers and woods, the captain and catch the snitch.

[01:12:29] It's 150 points and you try and get the quaffle in a hole. The next scene is we learn about Danielle's favorite spell. Oh, it's Leviosa, not Leviosa. That was the next thing I wrote down was just Leviosa. My notes started getting shorter and shorter. Yeah, I was literally just writing down like what happened in the scene because I'm like, I know this fucking movie and I can talk about it.

[01:12:58] I just have to keep things in there. Leviosa, troll. Yes. Yes. And then, oh, and then, well, before the troll is Ron shit talking Hermione. Oh yeah. Hurts her feelings. And yeah, Hermione's feelings are hurt. But sis, come on, take the hint. Like no one likes a know-it-all. And that's coming from a know-it-all who has like had to rein herself in over years. It's really. My mother will tell you.

[01:13:29] A lot of this is like villain origin story waiting to happen, but it never happens. Exactly. Yeah. All of them, if you think about it. It really could be. All three of them, each of them has the opportunity to go down the other, a wrong path. But the combination of the three of them make them decent. Now there's a troll. Oh no. In the dungeon. Ewie. Everyone's evacuated to their common rooms.

[01:13:57] Quirrell's passed out on the fucking floor. All they had to say was, hey, teachers, Hermione's in the bathroom. Yeah. Might want to check that out. Yeah. Instead, they're like, well, let's go get Hermione before we go to the common room. And wouldn't you fucking know the troll goes into the girl's bathroom where Hermione is. They have to defeat this giant ass mountain troll.

[01:14:22] And there are bewitched clubs that beat him over the head. At one point, someone's wand goes up its nose. Things are ripped from the wall. The stalls come crashing down. But somehow them bitches make it out. And the troll is. The troll crashes the stalls twice, by the way. Yes. Like he swipes them and cuts them in half. And she's like on the ground.

[01:14:51] And then all of a sudden the stalls are whole again. And he does it again. I don't think it's on the other side. I think it's the same stalls being smashed twice. I also think it's crazy that they literally learned one spell that day. And that's the one. That's the one that Ron. The only one they needed. They come out. Trolls knocked down. They're like, well, we did a thing. And McGonagall's like, you fucking kids are going to be the end of me.

[01:15:17] And then she goes, five points taken from Gryffindor. But then you get ten. I was surprised Snape didn't say, what the fuck? You know, it's not cool. It was Hermione's five points for lack of judgment from Gryffindor. But then five point each for sheer dumb luck.

[01:15:47] And the way she says it is so beautiful too. Yeah. Her accent is amazing. God bless Maggie Smith. And they noticed that at some point that Snape is limping. And they're like, oh, look, it's because the dog got him. That's why I wrote down Sherlock Potter. He's like, I'm piecing it together, guys. And they're like, yeah, yeah, totally, totally. Yeah.

[01:16:14] And now we are, Harry receives mail at breakfast that morning. And it is a Nimbus 2000. I could not tell what it was until they unwrapped it. I just couldn't tell. What is it? Let's unwrap it. Oh, it's a broom. Yeah, no shit. Sherlock. No shit. But yeah, it's also very cute. So now Harry can go out as his first time as a seeker against Slytherin.

[01:16:44] And he has his brand new fucking broom. Malfoy is totes jealous. And because now Malfoy is the seeker on the Slytherin team, correct? Yes. Like he has weaseled his way. Well, he's actually good at flying. Here's the thing. Like, again, Malfoy is just trying to do his thing. He is a little weasel child. I get it. But if Harry Potter was not in his year, he would be living the best fucking life.

[01:17:13] He would be getting all the credit for like the youngest seeker on the team. Like they don't pick first years, but they did it twice. Incredible. Right. Yeah. So now it's the Quidditch event. Harry's broom starts going all wonky and Hermione has these giant ass binoculars. Yeah. Well, why? And she's like, oh, Snape's fucking him up. Like, yeah.

[01:17:42] And no one's noticing this. The refs are not. I don't notice this. Nobody knows this is the chanting that's happening. And like Dumbledore is fucking right there. He doesn't realize that that is most likely some magic being is interfering. Yeah. The oversight is ridiculous. It's just like, why do we have to play these games? Dumbledore, you fucking know everything that's going to happen. Stop it. Can't stand that shit.

[01:18:12] Stop it, Dumbie. Dumbie. He knows every fucking thing. Like, if you think about it, how he's just like kind of winking, like, uh, you know, throughout all the fucking movies. He knows it's not Snape. Maybe he knows like the overall vibe of everything that happens. Maybe not all the details. Yeah. I don't think he knows all the details, but like he knows too damn much to be playing boo-boo the fool like this. I just can't.

[01:18:42] So Hermione goes and sets Snape's robes on fire. That's the solution. If you, I would love to do a scene of Snape, these kids being the motherfucking villain to him. Cause I can't, these fucking kids, this bitch burnt my robe. Like I don't get enough salary here. No, they don't. We buy new robes and shit. Yes. Oh. And speaking of Snape's robes, there was a fun fact. Let me find it. Oh, okay.

[01:19:11] Snape's costume was the only one that never changed. And according to costume designer, Janie Tamin, because it was perfect. When something is perfect, you cannot change it. She joined the in prisoner of Azkaban and changed most of the costumes except for Snape's. Hmm. Okay. She was like partial to that costume. I love that. Yeah. It's literally black on black robes. He's the goth King.

[01:19:42] He reminds me of the guy from Savage Garden a little bit. Yes. Just want to drink a cherry. Yeah. I know. So Harry again, by sheer dumb luck catches the snitch because confidence to stand on the broom. Yes. And then.

[01:20:11] The end next. Yeah. He's like, oh, look, by the way. Yeah. So Gryffindor wins. And then they go and talk to Hagrid and they're like, Snape was limping and we had to set his robes on fire because fuckers after us. And Hagrid's like, I don't think that's the case. And they're like, no, but it is. And we're going to go investigate that door or that dog that's covering a trap door.

[01:20:39] And Hagrid's like, oh, fluffy. Yeah. Yeah. Snitching on himself. And he's like, he's so preoccupied because he's got something fucking boiling in his fireplace. Oh, yeah. At this point. And he's giving off a chaotic energy right now. And he's not paying attention. And he's just, again, loose lips. And he's like, and I'm the only one who knows a secret word to let fluffy move or whatever.

[01:21:08] And he just lets everything. Oh, well, because they start, they're like, Hagrid, do you have a fucking dragon egg? And he's like, yeah, I got it from a stranger at the leaky call. At the bar. At the bar. We had a conversation about fluffy. And I told him, you just play him a bit of music and he goes to sleep. And that's how it's like. Oh, I should not have said that. I shouldn't have said that. Oh, no. I shouldn't have said that. And then they all watch this baby dragon hatch.

[01:21:38] He's like, oh, Norbert, I'm your mama. This is my favorite. Oh, Hagrid's a mom. Wait, we missed a section, I think. But the mirror, but who cares? Oh, that is kind of important. Okay. So Harry's mom and dad in the mirror and it's not real. The end. Yeah, he does see. Doesn't he see that first? It's just like Christmas time. It's later on. Yeah. Oh, that's weird. I have it written before the dragon. Oh, that.

[01:22:07] Oh, maybe they go back. Maybe he talks about the dragon and we don't see the dragon until after. That's what it is. Okay. Yeah. But anyway. Or they talk to Hagrid more than once. They talk to Hagrid twice. Yeah. Yeah. Because he fucks up so many times. Yeah. I do love this scene where the dragon spits his little fireball. And he's like, oh, need some training. And he takes these oven mitts and hats his bear down. Oh, yeah. From being on fire.

[01:22:36] It just cracks me up every time. I don't know why. This first, I figured it out. This first conversation with Hagrid is when he spills the beans about Nicholas Flamel. And they're like, and then they go to the library. Yes. And they're like, there has to be something. And Hermione is like a child obsessed now. And then we see it's Christmas time. Harry and Ron are playing wizard's chess with their little chess pieces and stuff.

[01:23:01] And I love that Ron stays at Hogwarts for Christmas to stay with Harry essentially, which is super cute. Yes. And on Christmas morning, I send this GIF every year to Amber, who was on our Space Jam episode. She hates where they're like, happy Christmas, Ron. Happy Christmas, Harry.

[01:23:25] I remember the first time I realized that people from the UK say happy Christmas. Because one of my cousins came, a few of my cousins came down from London. And it was around Christmas time and they said it. And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Happy Christmas. Happy Christmas. Merry Christmas, motherfucker. Like, what are we saying? I also wrote down, are there no Jews? Oh, right. The author.

[01:23:55] Which if you, there are, you know, a lot of people have talked about. Yeah. I only laughed that hard because everything, this author. But a lot of people talked about the goblins because they very much perpetuate really harmful stereotypes. Yeah, harmful stereotypes of Jewish people. On to the goblins. Yes. Ew. Yes.

[01:24:21] Because if you look at some of the paraphernalia, especially some of the propaganda that was used in World War II and how they like would draw some of the cartoons and pictures, it's eerily close. Similar. Yikes. But Molly knits the boys sweaters. I know. And I want one. They're so precious. And then Harry is just so happy.

[01:24:47] And my mom, shout out Miss Terry, a long time ago pointed this out because when she read the book, it really resonated with her. Like Ron was like, oh, another fucking sweater for my mom. It was the first gift Harry had ever received. And so for him, it was so special and it was personalized. It was handmade just for him. It fit him. And then he also received a couple of other presents.

[01:25:11] Like that Christmas for him was probably the most special event that he could ever dream of because it was people that actually cared about him giving him gifts that were meant just for him. And they weren't hand-me-downs. They weren't like broken shit that like Dudley didn't want anymore. It was like people cared enough to think about him and give him gifts. I think later, I forget when this happens, but later on, I think she also gives,

[01:25:40] she gives Harry a like family heirloom or I don't know if it's like a sweater, but it's passed down. And she gives Ron a brand new sweater, which speaks to both of them because Harry never had family in that same way to get something like that. While Ron has always gotten hand-me-downs and it was very special that he got something brand new. Yeah, something special catered to both of them.

[01:26:08] Molly is the best. She is. She's a hero. And then within those presents is the wrapped up invisibility cloak. He doesn't know who he receives it from. Canon, it's from Dumbledore. He had borrowed it from James and then James died. And so Dumbledore had kept it all that time and then passed John to Harry when he came to Hogwarts during Christmas time. There's books later.

[01:26:34] There's a book, like an in-between book that comes out and they talk about in the book that it's actually an heirloom from some of the very, very significant wizards that come becomes important in the last few movies. And now they are researching Nicholas Flamel in the restricted section, but Filch is always watching. He is the Ross of this situation. Yes. And Mrs. Norris knows.

[01:27:03] Mrs. Norris fucking knows. She's like meow. I love the awkward Snape, like looking into camera. So good. It's so good. It just makes me go, oh, Alan Rick. For this, like. It's so good.

[01:27:34] Anyway. Anyway. Yeah. So Harry almost gets found out, but because of his good old trusty invisibility cloak, Snape does not snatch his wig off. No wig snatching. Interesting. And then this is when Harry is kind of trying to get back to his room, but like evades Snape and Filch. And he runs into the mirror of Erised. And he sees his mom and his dad.

[01:28:03] And he's just like. And so then he kind of becomes obsessed with finding the mirror again, because that's his only link to his parents. And so he goes a couple more times and he's just sitting in front of it, just like watching it because he's so happy to see a glimpse of his parents who he's never known. I just feel like the adults in this school. Really knowing that this kid has never had any interactive action with his parents, that his parents died and everything that happened.

[01:28:31] And there's so much that they could actually provide and give him that can provide solace that he's not having these gaps. As soon as he got to the school, he should have been able to take a tour and say, your parents went here and they were in this house and they were they play Quidditch. Why is this child constantly having to try to like pull all these things to figure things out? And it doesn't even have to include anything about the war of Voldemort, nothing.

[01:29:01] There's so much history left behind of his parents that could have been told to this child. And I just it's frustrating as fuck to watch. It is. Yeah. And that's a problem with a lot of movies in general. It's like if we just got a tour at the beginning. Yeah. It's so much easier. But like we have to discover it along with and it makes you uncomfortable because you're like, yeah, never hide this from this kid like in real life. It's really wild.

[01:29:29] And the first time he finds the mirror, he goes and gets Ron and brings him back. And Ron sees himself as like winning the quid. Yeah. He's holding the Quidditch cup. And so it's just Ron wants to stand up. He doesn't want to just be one of the Weasleys. He wants to have some notoriety and like something that makes him stand out from everyone. Which is difficult because he's a Weasley and then he ends up becoming friends with J fucking K over here.

[01:29:58] Who's like the most popular person ever and is overshadowed by Harry. Like I can imagine the frustration. Yep. And so then this is goes into the scene where Harry is staring at the mirror of Erised. And he's gone back. Ron's not there. And Dumbledore happens upon him. So Dumbledore explains what the mirror of Erised is. And it's essentially like it shows you your most like wished for.

[01:30:27] Your greatest wish pretty much. Like what you want more than anything in the world. The happiest man would stand in front of it and see himself exactly as he is. Yes. Exactly. Some good lines in this section. He also says it does not do to dwell on dreams which is such a great line. It is. And I think later on we find out that when he looks in the mirror he sees him and his love. Love of his life. I forget who it is. Grindelwald. Yeah.

[01:30:54] And the inscription the mirror is called the mirror of Erised. Erised is desire spelled backwards. And there is a whole inscription around the mirror that is completely backwards. But if you read it backwards it says I showed not your face but your heart's desire. Hmm. Aww. Yeah. All I want are my parents. That's so scary. This is heartbreaking.

[01:31:24] I'm very confused about what I wrote next. But go ahead. I said where is Hedwig going? Oh. I don't know. I think they have. I think Harry takes him outside and then Hedwig flies off and it transitions into a new scene. I think it's just a transition. But I was like where is he going? He's pimping them hoes. He's got to see his ladies. He'll be back. Like who cares Gwen? Well I wrote new home tomorrow.

[01:31:54] Who's giving it home? I wrote next. No Hermione we don't read. Okay. I did. This goes along with that my note. Sorcerer's Stone Library. So she. Yes. Yes. It's the book she had previously read because she's like Nicholas Flamel. It sounds familiar. And she's like oh this 800 page book I checked out for. Light reading. Light reading.

[01:32:24] And it explains that he is the creator of the Sorcerer's Stone. The Philosopher's Stone if you're anywhere but the U.S. Because we're dumb and so they didn't think we'd understand philosopher. So they changed it. And it can. It makes whoever has it immortal. And then it also turns any metal into gold. Are the two big takeaways that I got.

[01:32:49] I can like side note I know I'm jumping way far into the movies but in the newer movies the most recent movie in this world we see Nicholas Flamel who looks like either I don't it's like a cross between Michael Jackson after his skin gets messed up and the guys the Wayans brothers and white chicks like it's real plus Joe the grandpa from Charlie. I'm looking at him right now. I am too.

[01:33:19] It would be a fantastic piece. Nicholas Flamel actor. Oh yes. Did I give it the right description? Oh yeah yeah yeah. Yeah. And he real wrinkly. He's like a white walker. He is a white walker. That is also very accurate. Very white walker. And now we are at Hagrid's hut where the whole dragon fluffy conversation happens. Dragon.

[01:33:48] But Malfoy is peeping in the window and then he runs to snitch on him jokes on fucking you because now you just got everyone including yourself detention bitch. And now we have to go back into the forbidden. Now we have to go to the forest where we're not allowed except for attention. Yeah. And we have to look for something that is eating unicorns. Oh and real quick.

[01:34:13] Filch says back in my day we used to hang children by their thumbs. I missed the screams and I was like they used to torture students at Hogwarts. Oh. That's so dark. Filch is fucking filch. He is on him. Now they're in the forest and Hagrid's. Oh and Dumbledore sent Norbert the dragon to Romania. So Hagrid is less sad.

[01:34:43] And now has to go hunt whoever the fuck is hunting unicorns in the forbidden forest. They split up which we have discussed on this podcast. Never fucking split up. Nope. Never a good idea. And how do they split up because Harry ends up alone. With Malfoy. Oh right. Malfoy runs off like a little bitch. Yeah. And Malfoy's like well we get Fang and Hagrid's like fucking good luck. Fang's useless.

[01:35:12] He may be big a big dog but like he's gonna be the first one to peace out when shit goes down. Yeah. And so they see a cloaked figure. It looks like Senator Palpatine. Unicorn blood. And so Harry freaks out. Malfoy pieces out. Fang is gone. And Harry runs into a centaur.

[01:35:42] Fearns? It's a fucking centaur. Same. They look. Not great. The CTA was not up to snuff in. Sorcerer's stone. That whole scene was weird. And the hooded figure does approach Harry. And. But it's almost like he does like a dance. Like. It's like the Phoebe seducing Chandler dance. Where she's like.

[01:36:12] I just watched that episode yesterday. Yes. It very. It is like that. That's funny. It's like a dance off situation. Like. That's another one of our TikToks is. The dance off between Harry and Senator Palpatine in the forbidden. Oh my God. That's really funny. So. I said. Okay. This is what I wrote. How does a regular old centaur scare him off? I get. I get them.

[01:36:42] Why he would be scary. And I said. He tell. I feel like the centaur tells Harry more information than anybody in this whole movie. Yes. And I'm like. I don't. I. That was my issue with the centaur. The centaur itself is a great centaur. I enjoy them very much. It's just like the fact that. They're like. Oh by the way. Here's all this exposition really quick. He's like. Nobody told you. Bro. Like I know. And like how does the centaur know so much? It knows everything. Because there's.

[01:37:12] It knows more than it's supposed to. So many creatures in the magical world. And they. It's true. They know everything. It's affecting them. I would look at the centaur's. Almost like the natives of magical creatures. Right? Like I. If I. In my mind. How the evolution of the magical world. Happened. It started with. Maybe like the centaurs. And then all these other magical creatures. And evolution happened. And then humans started to get shit. And they fucked shit over. And then they had to make a treaty. And say don't come into our goddamn forest.

[01:37:42] Because y'all have taken up everything. And they would never bring Harry into this forest. Considering the circumstances. It's so ridiculous. I mean. I guess Dumbledore nails everything. And that makes it. Everything purposeful. People might think you're. Up to something. That's the next scene. I think. Yeah. So. Friends. The centaur. Explains that. If you.

[01:38:11] He's the one that explains the unicorn blood. Correct? Yes. I forget. That would. He explains. If you drink unicorn blood. You can live for a long time. But the act of it. The moment the blood touches your mouth. You. It's so. Such a sacred animal. You have. Ruined yourself. Like. It's not. Good. It's not looking good for you. You're. You live a half-life. Or a curse life. Yeah. Because they're so pure. And now. We're all just in. The Gryffindor common room.

[01:38:41] Talking about it loudly. For everyone to hear. Get it together children. I just feel like. At this point. Okay. Never mind. I have to wait till later. To say this part. But go ahead. Um. So. Now. And. And someone. I can't remember who says. As long as Dumbledore is around. You can't be touched. Who says that? I didn't make it up. I don't know. The centaur probably did.

[01:39:11] He said so. Oh yes. Okay. Like also the sorcerer's stone. Like he said so. Anything. Yes. He's like. You know what's at that school right now? Like. Gossip column. Yeah. And then. Harry's scar. Is burning. Probably because. As we learn in. Subsequent movies. When Voldemort. Is around. Or gaining power. Which he would have gained power. Because he just drank unicorns. Blood. Harry can. Has that connection in.

[01:39:40] So his scar starts to hurt. That. And then. Snape is questioning. Because they're fucking sneaking around again. They just. Served attention for it. That line is so dramatic. With way more dramatic. Than it ever needed to be. And. And it's. It's perfect. I think he progressively. Gets. Even more. Dramatic. As the movies. As he should. Continues. It's like the best. I don't know how he gets more and more Alan Rickman.

[01:40:10] As. The. Like. The lines blur. Yeah. Yeah. As he's. Like. Settled into this character. Does anyone get tripped the fuck out. Watching love actually. After seeing all these Harry Potter movies. Yes. And it just. I can't. So. They make a plan. We're going to explore the trap door tonight. Snape is up to no good. And. They now know.

[01:40:38] That Fluffy just needs a little music. Make him comfy. So. They go out. They sneak out. They get to the trap door. Fluffy's already asleep. A harp is playing. A harp playing. So they're like. Oh shit. Like. We have to get Snape. So they go into the next room. And there's. Devil Snare. Devil Snare. So many. The very convenient challenges ahead. Yes. Right. Like. Each one of them. Has a skill. That kid helped them get through. This process.

[01:41:08] How did Squirrel. Get through this by himself. Right. Because. I mean. If he's got Voldemort in his brain. Voldemort is extremely. How did they do the chess? I'm sure there was a way. He's extremely smart. I don't know. No clue. Anyway. Devil Snare. Devil Snare. Just relax. Devil Snare. And she's trying to remember. What she read about. And she's. Devil Snare.

[01:41:36] It shrinks in the sun. It hates sunlight. Yeah. Because like. She relaxes. And I guess. The. She falls through. Whatever. Yeah. But the Devil Snare is like. Hovering. It's at the top of a room. It's the floor. And the ceiling. Yes. And so. She relaxes. And she falls through. To the actual floor. Of the room. And then Harry. Like it takes him a couple of seconds. But he gets it too.

[01:42:05] But then Ron is panicking. And so. Hermione has to cast. Like a sun spell. And make the Devil Snare. Shrink. So that. Ron doesn't get suffocated. So like. Really. Who were these traps for? Right. Like. That's what I'm saying. Like if Hermione. Wasn't it set up for the different professor strengths? Yes. Am I making that up? So like. Professor Sprout did the Devil Snare. And then. Madam. No. Professor.

[01:42:36] Did the keys. But yeah. Huh. Because she's a seeker. And then. And then she has to somebody else. Right. Yeah. It's like a team effort. And Hagrid was a dog. Yes. And then. Yeah. There was a scene. Like in the books. There's a potions riddle. That has to be solved. So that's Snape's room. Snape's room. So they all set it up together. Yeah. So like. They could help each other. I'm assuming. Like when they were setting it up. Get through the different rooms. But. You have to go together. And not one of them by themselves.

[01:43:06] Yeah. It was like a fail safe. That fucking failed. Yeah. Like miserably. It was way too easy. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Like. That's what I don't like. Did you think you were stopping? Especially if Dumbledore had the smallest inkling. As to who he thought it might be. Yeah. Like you know how smart this man is. What are we doing here? I don't remember if they ever explained that in the books. They must have explained it in the books. How. I think they did. Before I got through. They had to have. Now I need to know. Yeah. So. Well. Chess.

[01:43:36] Yeah. Well. So it's keys. And they notice. There's all different flying keys. And the door. And. To get through the room is locked. But then they notice the key has a bent wing. But as soon as they go to grab it. They all start like. Fucking zipping everywhere. And so. Harry has to. Ride a broom. And catch the key. And then all of the keys like impale the door. I'm like. Were the keys going to kill them? If they didn't get through the door fast enough? I think so.

[01:44:06] Well. I guess the devil's snare was going to kill them too. So that's fair. And now we're in the wizard's chest. But it's like actual. Like you are the fucking chess pieces. But Ron is really fucking good at chess. So don't you fret. Don't you worry. If it was the three of us. I'm like. I know checkers. Y'all. Also. Did he have to climb on the night? Like. Yeah. Climb on the night. Because Harry and Hermione just stood there. But there. I mean. The knight is a horse.

[01:44:36] So I get it. But I don't know why. He needed to be a part of the piece. Like why couldn't he just jump off. Right before it got like smooth. Well I think. Maybe it was a cheat. Yeah. On the board. I think it was just an excuse. So he wouldn't physically get hit. Like once you saw that. Whatever that thing was slicing through things. I'm like he ain't gonna make it y'all. Harry even says no. Ron no.

[01:45:05] It's the only way. You're the only one. And here we go. You're the only one Harry who could get us out of here. Not me. Not Hermione. You. You. End of movie. The movie ends. That is the last line. I turned it off after that. That's all you didn't hear. And Ron sacrifices himself.

[01:45:32] And so Harry could take the queen. Oh wow. Tell Hermione to stay her ass there. Because she wants to. Already she's ready to Ron. To make sure he's okay. Yeah and so yeah. Harry's like I have to checkmate first. Before you can fucking move. And then he tells Hermione you need to stay with Ron. Get him to the infirmary. I have to go on. And you need to get some help. Because that might not make it. And Rupert Grint did get hurt.

[01:46:02] Shooting this scene when he fell. Like some of the prop rocks. Like one hit him in the face. Oh no. On the way down. These stunts are dangerous. These children doing their own stunts. Stunts out in these streets. It's a lot. Child abuse. So he goes into the dungeon. And Quarrel's standing in front of the Mirror of Erised. And he unveils his master plan. Because that's what villains do.

[01:46:30] We love villains giving up the dick so quickly. He's like yeah let me tell you exactly everything that has happened. I was cursing you and Snape was counter cursing. But you thought it was Snape. Ha ha ha silly boy. By the way I'm going to need that fucking stone. And Harry's like I don't even have the stone. I don't know what you're talking about. And Voldemort's just like from behind. And like look in that mirror.

[01:47:01] Whisper man. Was Harry not like where the fuck is this voice coming from? The iterations of Voldemort and all the different movies are just so fucking hilarious. Yes. I mean you know we talk about Snape overacting. But when we get to Ralph Fiennes becoming Voldemort. It's just oh it's so over the top. It's. Oh it is dramatic.

[01:47:31] We wait for like five minutes while he unwraps his head. Yeah. It's literally like he's like hold on okay. Harry's like waiting. When he said oh hold on all I could think about was. Holy spirit. Activate. Holy spirit. Activate. Activate. Activate. That's exactly it. Quirrell you find out he's just.

[01:48:01] He's just a vessel essentially. He doesn't know how to do anything. Voldemort's leading the charge. And so Quirrell's like how do I make him get the stone. And that's when Voldemort's like. Make him look in the mirror. Oh he goes. Use the boy. They make him look in the mirror. And Quirrell's like what do you see.

[01:48:28] And Harry sees himself like winging a nod. And puts the. In my pocket. In his pocket. But like it actually goes in his pocket. And he's like well that's fucking weird. And so. He like makes his talk. And he's like. Yeah he's like. Something there. Oh god. And. So they're like what do you see. And he's like I'm shaking hands with Dumbledore. Dumbledore.

[01:48:58] I've won the Quidditch cup. And they're like fuck you. You liar. Why did he lie? Why doesn't he just say what he saw before. Which was his fucking parents. Yeah. Or say. I see myself. Because that's not a lie. Why? Yeah I don't understand it. And then. Then Voldemort's like. Show him. Release me or whatever. And then we unwrap his head for five minutes. And then. And then it's like.

[01:49:29] I am here. Give me the sorcerer stone. We could be so powerful together. He's on a New York accent. We could be so powerful. Like I literally. Give me the stone. I never want to take advice from a whispery partial man. No. And so he kind of. He's like come on. And Harry's like no. What? No. You have a face on the back of your head. I'm not.

[01:49:59] You're terrifying. I'm 11. Hello. Hello. And so Quirrell goes to attack Harry. Harry defends. Well Quirrell's like choking him out. Yeah. And Harry like grabs his hands. And his hands disintegrate. And Harry's like. I have magic hands. Harry is very confused. I didn't wash my hands. It's COVID time.

[01:50:29] And so. Yeah. He touches Quirrell's face. And Quirrell literally disintegrates to dust. Ashes to ashes. Ashes to ashes. Motherfucker. Oh my God. Meanwhile. Now Voldemort is just a tiny wisp. Of smokiness. And he like flies through Harry. Gross. Odd flex.

[01:50:57] And is like pretty much like. I'll be back. And then like disappears out the dungeon. I just get confused that this. How this kid does not have like the most. Like. Right. Yeah. You killed. You murdered a person. Essentially. Like you watch them. Die. And disintegrate. So he needs 24 hour security team. Like what the hell. Right. It's like the snap in. In Marvel.

[01:51:27] Like. I'm just watching people. Be dusted. Yeah. No. Thank you. I mean. I know I've called people. Dusty motherfucker before. But not. Taking it so literally. No. And now. Harry's like. Now. Passing out. But he still has the stone in his hand. Okay. And he wakes up in. The infirmary. Oh. This is when Dumbledore is so annoying. And he's like. Harry.

[01:51:57] The stone has been destroyed. And he's like. Wait. What about. How about anyone? He's like. Calm down. Calm down. Chill out. We're in it. Literally is so annoyed. By him asking questions. We're in a peaceful place. Shut the fuck up Harry. No. Dumbledore. What the. What happened? I'm freaked out man. And he's like. Yeah. Shut up. No worries. And he's like. What about. Nicholas Flamel. And. Dumbledore is like. Oh yeah.

[01:52:27] That bitch is on his way out. Like. I talked to him. And he's cool with it. Everything's fine. It's fine. And. Dumbledore is like. Well. That was my plan was. I put the stone. Oh. We got plans. We got plans. You didn't tell me shit. I would have been so. I would have gone. That would have been so nice. Like. I put the stone. In the mirror. Because. The only person that would be able to get the stone. Was someone. Who. Needed the stone.

[01:52:56] But didn't want to use the stone. So Dumbledore. Who did you. Who did you think was going to get the stone? All right. You've been setting a bitch up. Since. Jump. Okay. Year one. Okay. Year one. Okay. And then Harry's like. Is the ghost coming back? Like. Should I be worried? And Dumbledore's like. No son. He's fine. It's all good. He's gone. Next seat.

[01:53:26] Next year. There may. May be some other things. But I got plans. I won't tell you shit about those plans either. Dumbledore smokes the most weeds. He does. And he's always eating fucking candy. He's got plans. Yeah. Those teeth. Those teeth are rotten. I know it. He's got grills in them motherfuckers. And then. Harry's like. But. How did the. How did he catch these hands? And he disappeared. And Dumbledore's like.

[01:53:56] Oh your mother's love. Did that. That's a. When. Catch these hands. If you. Just show Harry. Like. The scene. Disintegrating. What I mean. When I say. Catch these hands. You can catch these hands. Yeah. You have come up with so many great things. Our social for next week. It's like. It's set. It's set. You don't have to come up with anything. You just have to. I just have to film all this shit. Edit. Some of them are duets and stuff. It's fine.

[01:54:25] I recorded my fucking collection. For you. I'm. I'm here for it. And then everyone's fine. Everyone's fine. We have some birdie bots. Every flavored beans. To celebrate. The last earwax. Ew. And. And he sees Ron and Hermione. After he's done. And he's heading to the great hall. And he just sees them on the balcony. And it's just like. The scene is more like. You good? Yeah. You good? Never better. Yeah.

[01:54:56] And then you do it again next year. Yeah. And then they go into the great hall. You see the Slytherin. Banner. Banner. Flying. So I was like. Oh. So we already know who's in the lead. And who's winning. And here we go. This is the first of many years. Of the. The teachers of this fucking school. Favoring. Setting the rest of the houses. Up for okie dokes. So I know the points look like Slytherin's winning by a huge margin. And Gryffindor is number four.

[01:55:26] But we about to shell out some last minute. Yeah. Everyone. I said. Way to add to Draco's fire. Right? Like this. That's not what you want to do. No. Just give him the house cup. Like. What does that give me in the long run? Nothing. I said special treatment. Also. So not fair. You could have. I don't know. And then I trailed off. And then I just wrote Neville. Because Neville is the one. I was like. I was like. I don't understand this.

[01:55:57] Yeah. So it was like. Ron. Hermione. And Harry. All get 50 points each. Which ties them with Slytherin. And then she's like. And it's a brave thing to stand up to your enemies. But an even braver thing to stand up to your friends. So Neville gets 50 points too. Which pushes them over the edge. And all the banners change. And it's. Fucking Gryffindor. When do Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff get some. This is what I was saying. Nobody cares about Ravenclaw. Is the last thing I wrote. Yeah. We have great snacks at Hufflepuff. But also.

[01:56:27] We're eating our feelings right now. I will say Neville's reaction to that moment. Where he got the points was really sweet. I cried. I'm not going to lie. He's so cute. He's just like. This is the best thing that's ever happened to him. I did a good thing. And how come no one ever tell. No one tells Neville. And maybe he finds out much later on. That he. Could have been. Hairy. Yeah. Like. And how did they end up in the same house. Also. Last. Another question. When we're.

[01:56:57] Getting sorted into the houses. What if one house gets more. People than others. Oh yeah. How is it so even. Yeah. Because if you look at the great hall. Set up. When the first years are coming in. Table has like a certain amount of seats. Empty. Yeah. Ready for the first years. And it's about even. So. How you do that? That's a really good point. Maybe the sorting hat is just like. A performance piece.

[01:57:26] But it's like. It's like. They already have the roster. I just want to know. You know. These are fair questions. All right. Well. And the. The last scene is. The train station. They're leaving to go home for. Summer. Hagrid gives Harry. A photo album with. Enchanted pictures of his family. I didn't remember that photo album. I didn't either. But. It's like oh. So now you're trying to tell me some shit. Now you're giving me information. After the whole year is over.

[01:57:57] And let me tell you. The hell. A bitch would a rose. Or about. I'd have been like. You are not sending me back. To these of you. No. Of yours. And I think after I know this. Eventually he doesn't go back. But. Yeah. That's. What are they trying to do to him? Well. They're like. Do they want him to be the next Voldemort? Or nah. I don't think nah. But maybe. Maybe. Maybe. And that. Is Harry Potter.

[01:58:27] And that is. We did it. We did it. I thought. So much. There's so much going on. Yes. So much. All right, ladies. Gwen, I'll start with you. What's your current rating? I was. You know. I'm just going to downgrade it one notch. To. Whatever is below the top. Two day rental. It's. Is it three day? Five day. Five day. Five day. You above a two day. You said. Yeah. Okay. Five day rental.

[01:58:57] Yeah. I downgraded it only once. Because. I know too much now. And I'm an adult. And. There are better movies than this one. In the Harry Potter franchise. But I still like it. Yeah. I still enjoy watching it. I just don't want to watch it all the time. Jackie. I mean. Obviously. I. I have to say. Own it. Because I do own it. And I do watch it. Quite a bit. Because. I. Aside from Half-Blood Prince. I don't pick and choose.

[01:59:27] Harry Potter movies. It's. I put on the first one. And over the course of the week. I watch all of them. Half-Blood Prince is. The only one. I will watch. Randomly. So. It'll be. Would buy. Would buy it again. So. I've learned from. My wife. Two K ways. So. Please don't come at me. I am a. Would buy it. Would buy it again. Because I own it. Multiple. On. DVD. And my mom. For Christmas. A few years back. Bought it. Finally. I got the. Complete set. I'm sure.

[01:59:57] I'll buy it again. And. At some point. And obviously. I have it on HBO. So. That's. Very good. And I pay for that shit too. Serena. And I. My sister. Who doesn't listen to the show. Most of the time. We. Have a tradition. As a family. We watch it. Every Christmas. Like. At some point. During the year. We have a marathon. Sometimes it's Halloween. Sometimes it's Christmas. And then we probably do it again. At somebody's birthday. It just depends.

[02:00:26] But we watch it a lot. And we don't get sick of it. So. I always watch it. After Thanksgiving. Like. Yeah. We start one. And then we. Over the course of the next week or two. We watch all of them. And some days. We just. Decide to watch one. Random. Like. My sister got us butterbeer. And. From the store. And. We watch the third one. So. It just bees like that. In this house. So. I mean. That better be a recipe. Yes. I want it. Oh man. Okay.

[02:00:56] So Gwen. Thank you again. We are so excited. That you joined us. We know. I had so much fun. Oh good. Because the process is long. It's okay. But we have fun. We always laugh so hard. When you're here. And. We just feel like you're our sister wife. For sure. Yes. I'm honored. This is my favorite podcast. Oh. Oh. And I love doing it. And I'm happy to be here anytime.

[02:01:26] Somebody might think you are. Up to some. Fucking lines. And as always. You guys can find us. At no more late fees. On Instagram. Facebook. TikTok. Twitter. YouTube. And our quick drop phone number. You can give us a call. 909-601-6653. That's 909-601-NMLF. Please call in with your feedback. Suggest future movies.

[02:01:56] What you liked and dislike. Corrections. Blockbuster video stories. And your favorite moments. And you can be featured on a future episode. This next week as we revisit one of the biggest blockbusters of the early 2000s. We'll be diving into Pearl Harbor. Okay. Well, again, Gwen, you just, we love you so much. We do. We really appreciate you coming on. We had so much fun. And until next time, be kind and rewind.

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