Cage Ep. 110 - The Retirement Plan (2023)

[00:00:00] Huh?

[00:00:01] Huh?

[00:00:02] Here's Sam fucking Big Bump!

[00:00:04] The beams are fucking razors!

[00:00:06] How did you burn?

[00:00:07] How did you burn?

[00:00:08] How did you burn?

[00:00:09] How did you burn?

[00:00:10] How did you burn?

[00:00:11] That's what she was there for.

[00:00:12] That was the plan.

[00:00:13] Give you a burn.

[00:00:14] You got one.

[00:00:15] Hi, fucking yaw! Your A-T-C-D-E-L-G-R-H-A-T-P-O-M-N-O-P-E-L-R-S-T-U-P-T-O-N-Y-T-Y-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T-O-N-Y-T- I'm not sure I was ready for. Yeah, no, 110 episodes of the Nicholas Cage season of the podcast and that's just season one. That's just season one. Yeah, that's just season one. And I mean, granted, the Nick Cage season took us four years to get through. Yeah, yeah. That's like half of this podcast life is just the Nick Cage season. So that might be why you're feeling that way. But you gotta remember, for a long time,

[00:01:41] we only did episodes once every two weeks.

[00:01:43] That's right.

[00:01:43] And then the pandemic hit and we were like,

[00:01:44] well, we got all this free time.

[00:01:46] Yes.

[00:01:47] And it's been four years of, to interrupt it with a Nicholas Cage move. That's none of it. Yes. If there's one thing we can almost guarantee is that when we are there right at the end or right at the start of a new season, one of the old subjects of the podcast will release a new movie for us to pause everything and go back to. Yep. Yeah. Nicholas Cage is added again. It is time for our fifth Nicholas Cage episode

[00:03:03] this year. That's crazy. Yes. So very excited to get to that eventually, but I guess we got to wait because A24, you know? Yes. So I think we're probably going to finish out the Michelle Yoe season before we get to those two movies. But we figured since today's movie just got released on VOD

[00:04:21] after a brief run in theaters, we thought, hey, let's do it.

[00:04:24] It's finally time to talk about the retirement plan. Who are you? The old guy. He keeps killing everybody. Everybody.

[00:05:46] Who is this guy? I got him to Sassen, isn't he?

[00:06:42] People are going nuts for suits these days, Mike. It's a character's way.

[00:06:43] It's a character's way.

[00:06:44] Yeah, exactly.

[00:06:45] Yeah, so Sarah and her husband, Jimmy, they are in deep with a crime syndicate featuring

[00:06:48] Donnie, played by Jackie Earl Haley and Hector, played by Grace Byers from Empire.

[00:06:54] One of Donnie's henchmen, Bobo, is played by Ron Perlman, which makes this a season of

[00:06:59] the Witch Reunion for Ron Perlman and Nicholas Cage.

[00:07:01] Kind of dig back for that one.

[00:07:03] Yes, and apparently a big part of why Nicholas Cage decided Yeah, this movie made just over $745,000 and was released to over a thousand screens. And here's the thing, I heard this was getting a small theatrical lease. I didn't know it was getting like a thousand screens. And there was one day where I was just like absentmindedly scrolling through my AMC app

[00:08:22] scene, like, oh, what's playing at the AMC right now?

[00:08:24] The retirement plan was playing.

[00:08:25] And I had of want to watch that before we get to it. Like, same. You know, it's like a good late October Halloween movie, you know? Yeah, definitely. So I think we're going to see how that goes. But yeah, I know a haunting event is just hitting Hulu on Halloween. Like on Halloween day. Okay. A haunting event

[00:09:42] is just going up. So yeah, that opened at number two at the box two. Expendables four was also out of that time. Hadn't seen the first three. Just like a lot of sequels that I didn't care about. It's like, well, all right, I guess I'm not going. Yeah, I did kind of want to see equalizer three because I've heard pretty good things about it. But I got to watch the first two first and didn't happen. Yeah, the first two equalizers I remember being pretty good.

[00:11:00] Yeah, I didn't see the third one or really hear anything about it.

[00:11:03] But I don't know.

[00:11:05] Good for Denzel.

[00:11:06] Yeah. Well, I can tell you the third one is a man on fire union, Mike,

[00:11:08] Dakota fanning's in it. Very exciting. Yes. So I was kind of expecting maybe a little more elevation on some of that. Run of the mill, 2013, 2012 to, I don't know, 2018 slop. That just kind of old era where it's just all the back taxes, direct to VOD kind of thing that we used to get back in the day when we were sort of like, are we experiencing

[00:12:23] Stockholm syndrome?

[00:12:24] Do we kind of like these movies a little bit?

[00:12:27] So I thought it was going to be the tough guy with the kid thing is fun, which we talked about probably when we were first learning about the retirement plan that Ron Perlman is in another movie this year, that is that. He's the tough guy, the baker, I think it's called? Yes, I totally forgot about this, but I think you're right. Yeah.

[00:13:40] Yeah, where he is this old mafia guy or whatever

[00:13:44] that gets his granddaughter.

[00:13:46] He's playing the Nick video on demand movies. Every once in a while, there would be a gem, like the trust is a movie that I would kind of point to. And being like, hey, that's really good. This is actually pretty solid. But for the most part, it's stuff like the runner, right? Like, remember the runner? That's the one I was thinking of, yeah. Yeah, he ran for election, but he was also a jogger. And that's why he was the runner.

[00:15:01] He's called the runner, yeah.

[00:15:03] You know, it would be stuff like that.

[00:15:05] But I think post-Mandy, it really does feel like,

[00:15:07] okay, you know, because he works so much and so frequently and in so many different kinds of projects, you know, some of them are great and some of them are not. Yeah.

[00:16:20] And sometimes he makes some movies that he can go hang out

[00:16:22] with Ron Perlman in the Cayman Islands and like good for him.

[00:16:25] Yeah, absolutely.

[00:16:26] I think it does fun to watch. Oh, and Ernie Hudson just has like a easy gravitas about him. That was very fun. Yeah, when he has that like talk with Ashley about like what his father, or what her father used to do and what kind of person he is and all that stuff, there is just like gravitas, I guess is the right word for it. Compared to the rest of the movie, which like you said has,

[00:17:40] Jacky Earl Haley screaming fuck all the time

[00:17:42] or them running out of guns

[00:17:44] so they hand one of their henchmen a hand grenade

[00:17:45] and they're like, figure it out.

[00:17:47] He's like, okay, it was over the door and grabbed this one guy, well, grab him one at a time. That was very good. That was very funny. And they end up going over the railing with the rope and stuff and all that. So yeah, I think there is some kind of clever action, old man action kind of stuff going on with them,

[00:19:01] which is pretty fun to watch.

[00:19:03] I think it's just weird.

[00:19:05] It really did remind me actually, it was a little too convoluted for its own good. And the movie would have been better off if it just stopped a Jack-O-Hilly. Like that's enough of a bad guy. Yeah, absolutely. Where you could have just been hidden that you were working against, but instead you add in Hector, which is actually a woman in the movie. And she is, it's a weird thing.

[00:20:21] Well, she doesn't get introduced

[00:20:22] until like almost an hour in.

[00:20:23] Yeah.

[00:20:24] And then it turns out she's also involved

[00:20:26] with like this hard drive they do say like, oh, they've been burned a couple of times. Yeah, or like this is a full burn situation or something like that.

[00:21:40] But that whole, you know, like spies wearing Hawaiian shirts

[00:21:44] in the tropics, you know, it's all set in Miami and stuff.

[00:21:46] But it felt like that kind of thing

[00:21:47] where like you'd bit of a heart to the movie with Cage

[00:23:01] kind of bonding with his granddaughter,

[00:23:02] but then also specifically with Ron Perlman bonding

[00:23:04] with Cage's granddaughter.

[00:23:05] Yeah.

[00:23:06] And I think those scenes are actually pretty nice. which has got it kind of just unfulfilled, I feel like. Absolutely, yeah. He definitely, they're definitely on a bonding thing where she's helping him realize that he's, can't escape his circumstance and he's teaching her a fellow and forget exactly the situation, but he's doing monologues or soliloquies or whatever

[00:24:20] and there's more to me than I'm just a henchman kind of guy.

[00:24:23] They're learning about the world together and all this stuff.

[00:24:26] And then yeah, because in French or whatever's happening a couple times and plays into that that whole thing that whole the way

[00:25:43] He looks also with like the long white hair and the scraggly beard and all that stuff It's by starring rage. He is still snickles. Okay. Oh, it's on a rage. He is still just a nickel stage. But I remember, we can never figure it out, but there was a moment where they say the title of another movie in the movie, where it's just like, what is happening? Oh, yes. I think it was, I want to say it was in rage.

[00:27:00] And I think they say the words seeking justice.

[00:27:03] I think you might be right.

[00:27:04] Yeah.

[00:27:05] That feels correct. But now I'm thinking about it, like also weirdly tonally is Army of One, the like Nick Cage when he goes to fight the Taliban or whatever that movie is, right? I actually also thought, I just visually like what Nick Cage looks like in that movie. Yeah. But I feel like I remember that also being like sort of an action comedy thing, right? It's like obviously like tongue in, just that tire tongue in cheek that Nick Cage does that.

[00:28:22] Right. Yeah.

[00:28:23] It's a comedy.

[00:28:23] It's a bit that the movie has a,

[00:28:26] has a Russell Brandon playing God. Yeah, so yeah, stuff like that. I don't know, just that whole era. But those movies were all like weirdly genre or had this kind of like particular bent to it. And this retirement plan is sort of just like action comedy for old men, you know? Yeah, kind of thing. A fairly kind of straightforward action comedy does what it needs to do and gets out. Yeah, I think it's an okay time.

[00:29:41] It's all right.

[00:29:45] Yeah, any random spots, scenes shit. Um, so yeah, that whole, that whole physical comedy thing is pretty fun. Yes. I really enjoyed that whole sequence. Uh, there's a sea, there's a scene earlier than that, uh, where Nick Cage first encounters the, uh, like, you know, the two guards, I think Ron Pearlman's one of them and then the other guy. Uh, and, you know, Nick Cage, I think they don't realize that he's, uh,

[00:31:03] Ashley's father yet, but I have Ashley.

[00:31:05] Uh, and he, uh, you know, just sit down was like, I think you're right. I was waiting for a your out of your element, Donnie, but the fuck up Donnie is pretty close. I am the walrus. John Lennon. Yeah. That's why I'm big of a basket. It's like this movie. Yeah. Yeah, we're going to watch people basket and also man on fire and then we'll be back. What a double.

[00:32:20] Any other scenes from retirement plan

[00:32:22] to set out to you, Mike?

[00:32:23] I feel like this can be a short episode.

[00:32:25] I will allow this to be in good hands. Like we might be okay here. And yeah, it kind of elevates beyond just that kind of thing with like we've been

[00:33:40] talking about the old man action comedy stuff. So do think retirement plan is like a little bit more watchable sympathy from the devil. That's yeah, I don't know. Interesting. I think you're right. It's tough. It's a tough call. It is for sure. I think they're both better than the old way. And so there's that. And so there's that the defense rests. Yeah.

[00:36:00] Oh yeah, go ahead. And then Cajus drives off,

[00:36:03] but I think they do say that Ernie Hudson survives.

[00:36:06] I'm pretty sure his character lives.

[00:36:08] Good for him.

[00:36:09] He probably shouldn't, but he'll be in the retiree plan too.

[00:36:13] Yeah, yeah, that's gonna happen for sure.

[00:36:16] Nicholas Cajus lowest grossing film ever.

[00:36:19] Guaranteed sequel.

[00:36:21] But all right, here's some letterbox reviews

[00:36:23] for the retirement plan.

[00:36:25] I had a one and a half star review from Nathan Raven,

[00:36:27] former film critic of the AV club. and Jack your old Haley said, fuck a lot. If it wasn't for the big names Nick Cage doing his thing, this would just go into the category of a fun background movie. Being that it is Nick Cage, I probably will revisit this again at some point and maybe will sit better with me once having already watched it. Wow. Yeah, the retirement plan requires a second viewing. They're on layers to the retirement plan

[00:37:42] that we could only begin to scratch the surface of.

[00:37:44] That's right.

[00:37:46] And I have one more here. Maybe you did. I remember the season of The Witch, I think is one of the worst Nicholas Cage movies. Really? I remember it starts off really fun. I might honestly only be thinking of the Crusades section. Yeah, the first like, you know, five minutes, I think it's the opening credits of the movie are just like a montage of Nick Cage and Ron Perlman fighting in the Crusades and it's really fun.

[00:39:00] And then after that, the movie like takes a steep drop off.

[00:39:04] Interesting.

[00:39:05] I wanna say Christopher Lee was in it.

[00:39:07] Yes. I may have to get high and watch that again. I hope to never see that movie again. I'm really worried about it. I was actually thinking to myself, watching this movie, it will be really fun to do a Ron Proman season of the podcast. Whoa. However, we can't. At least not right away. Turns out Ron Proman is also a voice in Transformers Rise of the Beast.

[00:40:20] Ah!

[00:40:23] Rise of the Beast is the movie that will at us at Mike and Mike pod. Nope. That's a sorry. The since this is the Nick close cage season. This is the old copy that's on here. Oh, it's just a and so the email address that it's that it has here is Jeff Goldblum complete

[00:41:43] works that she knows. Oh, interesting. But yeah't know, bitch. I would also like to say I went on Letterbox and I went to a movie and I was like, wow, we both gave this movie three stars. We must have really liked season of the world, not really liked, but we enjoyed season of the witch.

[00:43:02] Yeah, and then I scroll down and I was like,

[00:43:04] Jay Beershow wasn't in this movie.

[00:43:06] I was on Sorcerer's Apprentice.